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Nobody understands me
And it’s not your fault. It’s theirs.
You are sitting in a meeting. You’ve been talking to a potential supplier for some time, but somehow have a feeling he doesn’t understand your needs. This seems very odd to you, because the proposal they’ve submitted gave a completely opposite impression.
The feeling you have is probably just a feeling. He/she might understand you and the needs of your company very well, he/she just doesn’t know how to communicate to you.
How to communicate, when you want to tell them you understand?
1. Listen!
If we apply the famous Pareto Principle, the potential supplier should be listening 80 and speaking 20 percent of the time. If they talk too much it seems they don’t care about you and your needs and if they talk too little, you might be under the impression they do not understand to be able to give some sort of a comment or ask a question.
2. Ask questions!
Asking questions means running the game. If they ask questions, this means they want to learn more, find out more to be able to provide better, faster and cheaper.
What kind of questions? Preferably, these should be indirect and open.
3. Feed you back with your own words!
When the supplier talks, they should primarily be speaking about the benefits of whatever they want to sell and not its features (what the product does, not what it is).
If you want to create an impression that you REALLY understand, just feed your partner back his own words, e.g.:
“Aha … So we’re talking about urgent deliveries, which you could need if …” “Right … The merchandise gets delivered to … and then your distribution department …” “OK, so the meeting is tomorrow and we’ll be talking about the new rules on quality control!” 4.Mirror non-verbal language!Mirror their behaviour (e.g. when your partner leans forward do the same) to create instant rapport. If you mirror their behaviour you’ll be able to reach agreement on 67 percent of the time and if you don’t only in 12.5 percent of time.
